Borowitz Report

Ben Carson Says People Pushed Out of Windows Get Unique Opportunity to Fly Through Air

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—At a press conference on Tuesday morning, Ben Carson, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, told reporters that people who are pushed out of windows are “extremely lucky” because they get “a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fly through the air.”

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World Leaders Receive Crank Calls from Someone Claiming to Be President of United States

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a spate of annoying telephone pranks that has lasted nearly two weeks, heads of state from around the world have been receiving crank calls from someone claiming to be the President of the United States, the United Nations reported on Thursday.

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